On the way home

Suzanne and I are in Amsterdam, having just finished the first 8 hour leg of the flight. I wrote yesterday from Entebbe for about an hour discussing all the deep, thought-filled things I wanted to remember about my time in Uganda, but alas, the draft did not save. I am trying to be big, like Suzanne, and just say, oh well, and not feel this teeny, tiny smidge of frustration. errrrrrr.

I am grateful to be going home and see my family and friends, and I am grateful for the time I had in Uganda. So many things to remember...all of the tight hugs and sweet kisses from Katie's girls (love you girls!), the way Patricia laughs with her nose all scrunched up, and Jane's commanding personality that makes you want to squeeze her in two! I have pictures in my mind that I hope I will carry with me. A procession of women walking down a dirt road vibrantly dressed in their long, flowing dresses, with huge parcels loaded on their heads, regal, heads held high. The huge storks that dominated the trees outside the Gately where we stayed, which overlooked the Nile. The children at Amani playing outside in the yard or lined up to eat their meal or receive their bath. The "thank you, please" from someone who'd just served you a meal or sold you a souvenier. The six year old girl who was adjusting her completely naked little baby brother in the sling she had wrapped around her back as she walked through town. The pregnant woman carrying a child on her back as another walked at her knee. Esther's sweet smile and soft voice, the view from our breakfast table. The Karamajong children running and screaming, "Auntie Katie!" as she pulls her van into their village, or those same children getting behind that van and pushing us out of the mud we were stuck in! The 70+ women draped in beads they had made for Suzanne to buy, so proud of themselves, so happy for their ability to provide income for their families. Gloria's eyes as she looked into mine as we drove her to the hospital. (The doctor released her from the hospital, because he believed that she had brain damage for untreated malaria...cerebral malaria, possibly...Katie is taking her on Monday to Kampala to have a CT scan done. Please keep her in your prayers.) These and countless, literally countless, other images fill my mind and I'm quite sure I'll be processing much of it in the days to come. I just don't want to forget.

But the images that bear strongest are the ones from the faces of my friends as they walked through the time of adopting Josie and Asher. The joy, the pain, the frustration, the laughter, and most of all, the "digging deep" to commit to whatever the process brings because of their love for the children, but mostly love for their Lord and willingness to obey His call. It has been a JOURNEY so far, and it is not finished! Please continue to pray for the Keck's and the Mayernick's as they trust that He who has called them is faithful to complete it, and as they go through the process of bringing these children home.

I can't wait to hug and squeeze all of you! "Each time you cross my mind, I break out in exclamations of thanks to God."( Phil. 1:14 The Message) And today, I thank Him, too, for the incredible experience and privilege of loving others and being loved BY others in Uganda!


Much love and joy~!
Renee
Renee

My heart breaks

Yesterday, I had one of the most moving, heart-wrenching experiences I've had here, or really in my life. It is hard to know how to tell the story, because it is just hard to wrap my head around it. But I do know that my heart broke. Even now, tears spring to my eyes as I think of Gloria. She is 7 years old and she is Karamajong. We were there buying beads from the hard working women of the village. There were more women and more beads than we had expected! As we were about to leave, a woman came to Katie and asked her to please look at a sick child. The child was lying on a blanket with her auntie and was so obviously sick, but the crowd began to press in on us, so Suzanne, Mary Pat, Dana, Asher and I headed back to the van while Katie talked to the woman about the child. We were in the van waiting, and we looked up and there was Katie walking up the path with that child in her arms. Her legs and arms were splayed, then seizing, and Katie placed her in Mary Pat's arms and said "we are taking her to the hospital." Gloria, the precious girl, had seizures all the way to the hospital. Now, I use the term 'Hospital" loosely, because in our American standards, this would be a clinic. But the nurse and doctor took her straight in and attempted to discern what was wrong with her. They could not, so they referred us to another hospital, where she could be admitted for a confirmed diagnosis. At a loss for how to process what we were seeing, we prayed over the child, stroked her head and arms, and told her over and over, "it's ok, it's ok.." which of course, she did not understand. Her eyes...her eyes...they said it all. They said, "I"M SO AFRAID! I AM HURTING!! WHO ARE YOU? WHY AM I HERE! PLEASE HELP ME!!" As I looked into her eyes, I thought, OH LORD!! This could be MY child! I began to cry, it broke my heart. I watched helplessly as her body seized and listened while her cries got louder and louder. I have never felt so at a loss. When the doctor told us we should leave and go to another hospital, I picked her up off the table and carried her in my arms to the car where I held her and prayed she did not die. We arrived at the hospital, where we were taken back into a room immediately, but I was frankly shocked that THIS wss the hospital. We put her on another table and the doctor examined her, but did not know her history or what was wrong with her. Her auntie soon arrived to spend the night with her, and we left believing they would do tests to determine what was wrong. The doctor only said that he believed she was "in crisis" which meant she was likely dying. When things like this happen, there is nowhere to put it. What compartment of your brain would this fit in? How do you process that you just laid a sick and possibly dying girl on a cold table in a room shared by another patient at the foot of the same table? How do you process that they are treating her with medicines and they don't know what's wrong with her? Or the lack of communication, or the lack of information? How do you deal with that? Suzanne told me as I held her sick little body and I worried about my own health...she said.."Renee, Jesus touched the lepers" She was right, and I immediately let go of my fear and did what she said.."We just LOVE HER."
Today Katie went to the hospital to check on her. They still had not done the tests necessary to determine why she was so sick. I know that part of my heartache is due to a comparison between what is available to Americans with regards to healthcare and what is available to people in a third world country. I mean no disrespect. It is JUST DIFFERENT. As I write I still don't know how Gloria is, but would ask that you pray for her. Pray that they will figure out what is wrong and get her the proper treatment, and that she will live and thrive and have a life that will glorify God. That is all we want for our own children, isn't it?

p.s. One thing I forgot to mention in this post that I wanted to add is that this was not an abnormal day for Katie. This stuff happens to her a lot, but instead of having someone to hold the sick child or hold her baby, she would have done it alone. She enters in, fully engages, and gets the job done. God has given her a tenacity and strength to do what she does. Please continue to pray that He will supply all that Katie needs, whether it be physical, emotional or spiritual. Especially pray that as she pours herself out so fully, that He will provide refreshment and encouragement for her heart.

Lessons Learned

Yesterday we went to church at the Acacia Church. It is where Katie goes with her girls, and also many other missionaries we have met while we were here. It was a great service, and one in which I felt encouraged and reminded of what’s true by Pastor Terry. Our joy cannot be taken away, despite our circumstances because it comes from within. Another point he made that was equally challenging and convicting was how easy it is to let the distractions of this world keep us from putting Jesus in His rightful place of being first in our lives and walking with Him faithfully. After church, we went to lunch and then to Katie’s house for a low key time of hanging out with the girls, Mary Pat, Suzanne and Josie and Katie. It was good.
Today is Court Date for Dana and Suzanne. They will receive their verbal ruling which will make Josie Love and Asher legally theirs. Please pray for them as they go through this day. If we have learned anything, it’s that things can sometimes be unpredictable, but we are trusting God for His Spirit to fall over and through that place and that everything will go as expected! I saw Asher just before they left for Kampala where the court is. He was so excited! I started thinking about the joy that is coming for him and for the Keck family. After court today, he will never have to stay away from Dana again! He will be her son. Legally. Officially. Tonight, he will sleep at the Gately On the Nile with his mommy and not in a room with 13 other children.
And then there’s Josie Love. Josie, who has stolen our hearts and has responded so much to the love she feels from Suzanne. Though this process has been hard, the joy is coming, it is here. Today, Josie will become Mike and Suzanne’s 7th child, legally. It is a joy-filled day. I am so thankful to know these precious friends, to walk with them through this time. I can assure you it is much different than what I expected. Much harder, much more painful. But as Pastor Terry said yesterday, our joy comes from knowing that we are doing what Jesus has called us to do, and no circumstances can take that away. Seeing these children and others like them GO HOME to their forever families is joyful. I keep thinking about how Jesus came and found me, dirty and sick, full of ugly wormy sin, and He chose me anyway! He pulled me up out of my stinky, miry pit and placed me in His arms, took off my dirty rags I wore and put His righteous white robes around me and called me His child. He called me clean, forgiven and gave me His name. Nothing I did caused him to respond to me, there was nothing I could have done! He just loved me. And because of His great mercy and grace, He adopted me into His family and made me one of His own.

Asher, Josie, Judah, Joseph, Daisy, Bobby, Nicholas, Patrick, the Smalliing’s two, are real live pictures to me of Jesus’ love for us. They did nothing to deserve to be chosen. But God is good, He is loving and He is kind. He is sovereign and from the foundations of the world, He knew that one day these children would be here in Uganda, and that He would blow His Spirit through the hearts of these families and that they would come, pick these children up into their arms, and tell them they are loved. He knew that they would clean them up, put on their new clothes, and tell them they are now to be called Asher Keck, or Josie Love Mayernick. They would receive their new names and families! He knew that love would be unconditional, just like His love for us is unconditional.
I am grateful today for all I have learned here in Uganda. I am grateful for the reminders of His grace and mercy and love. I am grateful that despite my own propensity toward unfaithfulness toward Him, He is always faithful to me. I love you all…will see you soon! My battery is about to die,
So blessings to you all! Please keep praying!

In His loving grip,
Renee

Winding down

It's hard to believe it is our third Saturday in Uganda! Today is the day all the Amazima sponsored children come to Katie's for praise and worship and lunch. One thing I have realized is that it is a LOT of work! Katie's commitment to feed, educate, provide medical care and love these children is certainly not an easy journey. It IS the road less traveled. I have heard her say that she can't understand why people at home are interested in what she does, because to her, she is getting up, getting the kids to school, feeding them breakfast, lunch and dinner, getting them to bed...in general, being a mom, However there are significant differences in what we consider to be the average mom's workload. First...there are 14, 3 of which are 3 and under, and they will soon be adding one more to the mix for a short time as Josie goes to stay until she is ready to come home with her family. In addition to those duties and responsibilities, she spends untold hours taking children that come to her with a "paining" tooth to the dentist, treating them for malaria, taking them to the doctor, preparing for hundreds to come every Saturday for lunch and Sunday dinner, not to mention arranging for over 1,200 Karamajong children to eat every day. She negotiates business deals to get the most our of every shilling, The Proverbs 31 woman comes to mind...and she is TWENTY. She has chosen the hard road, the road less traveled. And it is just not easy. Not one day is easy. But her heart is determined, intent on the fulfilling the purpose to which she is called...to serve the least of these. And at the end of the day, as she lays her exhausted head down to sleep, I pray that she will know the Savior is smiling and saying, "Well done, my good and faithful servant!" Love you, Katie! Thank you for showing me what loving others well looks like in a beautiful way. May His Presence undergird and strengthen you to continue to walk this hard and beautiful journey.

beads, beads and more beads

Yesterday we went back to the Karamajong village to buy beads that Suzanne and Gwen have ordered to be used for 147 million orphans. As we arrived, the children ran to the van with warm greetings and joy! As we walked down the path to wear the women were waiting, they began to cry out with joy that we were there! Each of them was draped in at strands and strands of beads that they had made and were thrilled to sell! THis is just not saying it well...these women had no income, no way to support their families consistently. One day, Katie went in to the village and taught three of the women to make the beads, and they in turn taught more. Over the course of a few months, the number has increased and yesterday, SEVENTY women showed up to sell these beads! The money they earned is about half of what an average Ugandan makes in a month! When Suzanne and Gwen sell them, a percentage goes back to Amazima's (Katie's) feeding program and just one strand will be enough to feed a child here for a week! I took about 200 pictures of the people, the village, the beads and when I get to a place where I can upload some, I will. It was an incredible expereience!

Our humble leader, "Uncle" Mike left yesterday, and we will miss him! I have witnessed the heart of Jesus in him this last two weeks so many times. One of the characteristics of Jesus that touches me most is His compassion. I think of the verse that Jesus looked out over the crowd and was moved with compassion for the people. Or when Lazurus died, and Jesus wept. Jesus, the man, felt human emotion, and His heart was moved with compassion. I have witnessed that same compassion in Mike during our time here. He has wept often, he has chosen to be humble and loving when he could've been wounded and demanding. This same compassion is the thread I see joining the hearts of these parents who choose this difficult journey of adoption. i am so grateful.

Bujagali Falls
Before I came to Uganda, I’m not sure I knew the Nile River was here. I think of the Nile, and I think Egypt, history, civilization’s beginnings. But it is here, and actually has its source here in Uganda! Tonight, we went to Bujagali Falls, a magnificent falls where the wide river bends around a small island. The current is fierce, the water is rushing, and it is beautiful. It was again, one of those moments where I was very aware of the dichotomous situation I was in…the beauty of the waterfall stands in stark contrast to the environment which led us to it. This is Africa. On one hand, it is gorgeous…God’s creation at its finest. On the other, it is a picture of what man has done to it. As we were driving out to the falls, I told Suzanne, that if I tried to describe what it was like, I wouldn’t be able to find the words. I will try to paint the picture, but trust me, I will not do it justice. The road is basically a rutted out, pot-holed, gully of a red dirt path. To drive on the road, it feels like it would if you were driving through an open field full of holes and rough terrain. My head felt like my brain had been slamming against my skull by the time we arrived! The skilled driver attempts to avoid the worst of the gullies and trenches made by the rain washing out the road, but it is impossible. Additionally, all along the way are small villages. The people are walking, the women carrying babies on their backs or loads of cargo on their heads or both. Mud homes line the road and there are small booths which look about the size of an old outhouse, but they are the stores selling anything from food to cell phone airtime. (That one really cracked me up.) There is so much need everywhere, which makes me appreciate people like Katie and the young woman I met here, Renee Bach, who have chosen to live a selfless life to serve these people. They take the children in, the sick and the homeless, and they show them love. They live here in this poverty-stricken, disease-ridden, beautiful, sad, joyful place, and they love it. It touches me so deeply.
On another note entirely, please continue to keep the Mayernick’s in your prayers as they care for Josie. She is amazing…love seeing them loving on her! Asher is doing SO WELL!! He LOVES his mommy and can’t wait to be home. Pray for them as the court date approaches that the wheel will turn in their favor and they will be able to go home!
So grateful for the Doyle’s getting their court date! Judah is precious…got lots of pictures today, Lindsey, if I can ever get online to upload them! It’s becoming a joke around here! Gwen—got lots of Daisy and Joseph too! Still praying your court date is soon!
Blessings and love!
Renee

A New Day

I know I must've said 50 times yesterday...what a difference a few days can make! That's how it feels when I see Asher and Josie as they attach and engage with Dana, Mike and Suzanne! The transformation I see is amazing as hearts are knitted together and bonding between parent and chilod grows.
We spent the afternoon at Katie's. Mark Button brought the girls musical instruments; tambourines, shakers, as well as t shirts from Hawaii and beautiful scarves that the girls LOVED! They put on all their new items and took their bongo drum, tambourines and shakers and went out to the front porch where they sang and danced for us for at least an hour! It was fantastic. Agnes, is the music leader...her voice rings out loudly and beautifully as she calls the song and the other girls follow. Their movement is so graceful and natural...gorgeous! Jane,a 3 year old, was in charge of making sure the adults all participated. She gave us each an egg shaped shaker and told us in Luganda to SHAKE IT!! if we stopped for a SECOND, she would come over with her furrowed brow and shout, SHAKE IT!!. When we started back, she would nod and relax those tight muscles in her little brow and sit back down, with a look that said, 'Now that's more like it!" Hilarous. She is the bossiest little 3 year old I have ever seen! She had all of us doing exactly what she wanted us to! hahaha! It was so funny. Mark also brought "sweeties" (Jolly Rancher suckers) which we all ended up wearing before it was over. As the girls sang and danced, and Jane kept us engaged and participating, I turned to Katie and said, "This is one of the reasons I wanted to come. I wanted to experience this." Those girls of hers are AMAZING.

I am sitting out on the patio of the hotel restaurant this morning, and the air is cool, a breeze is blowing. It is refreshing and I really am beginning to feel like a new day is here. The hard days are not over, but there is a fresh breeze of hope blowing through our hearts. I look forward to seeing these kids back HOME with all of us and for all of you to meet them!

I posted pictures on facebook yesterday, so check them out! Going to try and get more up today. Much love and thanks for all the prayers for everyone here. Please continue to keep each of these sweet families (and mine!) in your prayers...that God will continue to direct their steps, pave the way, surround them with His presence and peace...There is such rest and peace knowing that the foundation is secure in His mighty and able Hands.

Love you all!
Renee